adjusting to people in training is harder than adjusting to host family or paraguayans alike... it's like having a culture shock on americans in another land... well it's not 'like', it is. i think everyone is on their adjusting mode, where everything is different, some things settle good, some dont, and some are just plain irritating, you cant change it, may it be things, situation, or people. everyone is a bit thin. thin in a sense that whatever you say or do will land like a dagger. well, maybe thats a bit of a harsh word. but whatever it is, there's a certain sensitivity level, or lack of it. unbalance, that is. everyone is thrown off and things just dont roll off, because you know that tommorow you'll be around them again. as some say, although i am barely coherent of it, it's like being back in high school in the united states. whatever that means. or maybe i should be a little bit more sensitive... maybe, hmmm... i don't know. i guess i am already in many way, but what the... sure, maybe i will, but i think the best thing is just to laugh it off, take it as a joke, and make the best of most of it, take it lightly. all i'm saying is that you cant really take it seriously, you cant also really take it personally. everyone is going through something extreme, same level or not. but even that, sometimes, its easy to be misunderstood. so i guess i'll just go back to just laughing it off when taking it as a joke doesnt work...

at this point, i'm more looking forward on meeting people in my group (or whoever is going to be close to my future site) when everyone is done with training and settled in on their site. maybe, just maybe, or not maybe, this is when you really meet people showing true colors. not that they're not now, it's just that everything that comes out are stains or bad color, sometimes, most of the time, really depends on who you talk to. no one wants that. i can be hopeful, but meeting people on their normal self, normal environment, would be a great treat, if chance even permits. i do like everyone in my group, i see what i like about them, and i see what i dont. its just a matter of tolerance and where you want to concentrate your energy on. everyone shows the good of them, but everyone, anyone, as we all know and if you can give me some lineancy, has their own flaws as well. so all you can do is accept all of em. the beauty of it is that we're all on this together. that might be a bit of a wide statement, or maybe i just care enough, maybe a lot. it could be a weakness, if you want to see it that way. whatever your take on it is, i'll be here for the long run of it... some also feels that theyve had enough, as sometimes i have as well, but for now, since you cant get away from it, all you can do is embrace it, be with it, and make it all your own. the way i see it, the more you resists, the more it will kick you back, and hard. i dont want to have to look back on this saying i just hate everything... thats not really me, so i'll take the other route.

at para sa mga nasa pinas, dito sa paraguay, parang diyan rin. meron nga sigurong mga maliliit na pagkakaiba, pero pareho lang din. problema sa gobyerno, mabagal na buhay... kabisado na natin to. kaya nasin talaga kung gusto nating baguhin ang takbo ng buhay natin. kaya eto, parang puhunan ko na rin to, para sa susunod, kung maari, ay diyan naman ako satin. yun ang balak at panalangin ko, magkatotoo sana... ipagdasal niyo na lang po...

but on the other side, american side that is, and for the sake of this experience, here's a little suggestion to those who are thinking about getting in to the peace corps, or to those who got in already and doing your research on getting ready... expect on dealing with different characters when you get to training (peace corps volunteers have as much differences as they have with similarities). in close proximity, in forced situation. i didnt expect that this first 11 weeks was gonna be like this. tough, as it naturally should in many levels, not because of the job (not that im an expert), but because of the different characters there is in the group. and if you experience training differently, if all of the people in your group manage to all be considerably and reasonably happy, then consider yourself lucky. also didn´t expect at all that we'd have a training, but its the first thing you should concentrate on getting through, may it be in a good way or a bad way. for me, i thought we were just gonna be briefed then get dropped off on our site. that right there, thats what i was ready for. i didnt really expect that it was gonna be like this either. well, i didnt have an expectation at all. i kept it open, as i think i should, always will and always do, and couldnt have done it or known how else to approach it any other way. so this is what i bargained for. overall, with all the good and the bad, im content with it, if not a little more. we have a little bit of 4 weeks left i think, then off to our own individual world. so here's the final stretch... for now, i'll just have to continue, endure it, enjoy it, own it all... let it pass, let it go. everything on it's on time... you collect your winnings, you cut your loses... if you want any other input, not just with training, but with anything, i'll be more than happy to let you know...

now that i'm here, i'm getting the real sense of what the peace corps is really all about... whatever you think of it is, whatever you heard of it is, for me, with all of my run-ons and everything that goes along with it... it is really what you make of it, all of it, all the best and/or worst of it.