I have been pretty negative lately and it's not healthy. I guess it's all the combinations of the weather, getting cold, staying in more, and the typical redundancy of the days and conversations, small meaningless conversations around here. I'm also very easy to get irritated lately. Annoyed and not dealing with it, I think in a better, healthier way. A couple of incidents that also occurred these last couple of weeks didn't help. One, a good friend, while drunk, harassing me late night, and another, my neighbor playing a pretty heavy joke by dropping a pair of plier on my toe in front of our peers.
It hasn't been easy dealing with the behaviors that people have towards me lately. Meaning, that around here, people are really used to me by now that they have the full confidence of saying or doing whatever they want. That's why limits and boundaries are about to be set. I guess this is the growing part of myself in the pueblo. I am now integrated, so integrated that "they take you up to your elbow when you're only giving your hands." A saying that I just learned this weekend.
I have had the great support of friends and staff of the Peace Corps. I feel that my time here lately has been heavy in every way especially with this past situations that I'm dealing with. Although tough, I think it'll be worth it at the end.
Right now, in terms of work, that's pretty much what I'm dealing with. Characters and personalities of people. It's the most important of all the work in this kind of environment I think. I highly believe that this pueblo will not advance, nor any pueblo or village at all, without having built a strong character in people.
All this negativity comes from these stress. Stressed with people, stress with situations, just good old normal timely/momentarily ones. But to see the good light in it, it just means that I am learning a lot about the people here and about myself, my norms, of where I came from. The differences that we all have as societies and human beings. From there, I think I, or we, can start to build a good foundation on where to really start with deep grassroot sustainable work. I think all these stress, I have faith, will turn out to a great result later in my service here in Paraguay. All this great lessons, I'm hoping, to be much helpful while I'm still here. If not, then in a near future after my experiences here in the bigger, much larger service. Everything has it's step and everything has a process. I think this time, this moment I'm having is just one of those tough ones that will eventually get better in time.