1.16.2011
had a good day. felt good. once you let go, it usually ends up going well. the ups and down of being in the peace corps. if there is anything else as much adventurous as this, as challenging, as amazing, bring it. nothing beats it.
it hasn't been an easy couple of weeks. i've had very stressful days that had something to do with getting the kids pasaje for the leadership camp. then there's the little hassles that went along with it. getting back from vacation, from uruguay, i really didn't know what i would do this last 8 months of being here. this january also is my first year anniversary being here in santa rosa. just reminiscing, thinking back on how sad and lonely was the move, and how frustrating it was, kinda put me in the edge. feeling like in a downhill mood. needs to shake it off.
started the ahecha (to see, in guarani) project with the kids and will have the first revising class tomorrow. we will see the photos that the kids have taken. they are ranged from around 14-16 years old. it's the only thing that's keeping me together right now in terms of work this summer. the local government had just switched over to the new regime and walking in there before the leadership camp, i felt like i'm new again in this town. the people there wondering what the hell i'm doing there again. i have a feeling it may take awhile again for them to get use to as to them themselves seems to have no idea what's going on or are still figuring out what is what and who is who in the municipality. the only person that is certain is the mayor, and from there, everyone doesn't know what position they are holding. that's how disorganized it is around here. what's more of a problem is that the previous people who was in position wouldn't walk through the people now on things from the previous work. what happens is that when the mayor change, the whole office change, and nobody cares on passing along or picking up from where they left off. everything, everyone, has to start from scratch. as to what part of my frustrations and me being discourage is that if they can't organize themselves nor help one another, how can i be of assistant to them? it's the whole classic tribal problem (in our case, a small town). where a tribe is ruined, if internally they can't keep it together.
seems like i'm back on feeling the same feelings i had when i first move here last year, around this same time. january. maybe it's the summer, the heat, having no school, kids being on vacation, it could, or more likely because of all of it.
but the most important part is that i've been through it, i think i can be better, i know i will get through it. right now, i feel like all i have to do is take it again one day at a time. it usually works better that way in this kind of environment.
it hasn't been an easy couple of weeks. i've had very stressful days that had something to do with getting the kids pasaje for the leadership camp. then there's the little hassles that went along with it. getting back from vacation, from uruguay, i really didn't know what i would do this last 8 months of being here. this january also is my first year anniversary being here in santa rosa. just reminiscing, thinking back on how sad and lonely was the move, and how frustrating it was, kinda put me in the edge. feeling like in a downhill mood. needs to shake it off.
started the ahecha (to see, in guarani) project with the kids and will have the first revising class tomorrow. we will see the photos that the kids have taken. they are ranged from around 14-16 years old. it's the only thing that's keeping me together right now in terms of work this summer. the local government had just switched over to the new regime and walking in there before the leadership camp, i felt like i'm new again in this town. the people there wondering what the hell i'm doing there again. i have a feeling it may take awhile again for them to get use to as to them themselves seems to have no idea what's going on or are still figuring out what is what and who is who in the municipality. the only person that is certain is the mayor, and from there, everyone doesn't know what position they are holding. that's how disorganized it is around here. what's more of a problem is that the previous people who was in position wouldn't walk through the people now on things from the previous work. what happens is that when the mayor change, the whole office change, and nobody cares on passing along or picking up from where they left off. everything, everyone, has to start from scratch. as to what part of my frustrations and me being discourage is that if they can't organize themselves nor help one another, how can i be of assistant to them? it's the whole classic tribal problem (in our case, a small town). where a tribe is ruined, if internally they can't keep it together.
seems like i'm back on feeling the same feelings i had when i first move here last year, around this same time. january. maybe it's the summer, the heat, having no school, kids being on vacation, it could, or more likely because of all of it.
but the most important part is that i've been through it, i think i can be better, i know i will get through it. right now, i feel like all i have to do is take it again one day at a time. it usually works better that way in this kind of environment.
12.16.2010
11.29.2010
well, it woke up. my inspiration. i found some. this practice of finding images that captures your thoughts and feelings is really helping me express my moods, emotions; everything that's inside me. images helps them come to life in a way that it makes it sort of more tangible and alive. atleast to me. i can read them better, to understand them better. a bit more clearer.
this images stint seems to be wearing out. in the city with the pumpest speed and yet nothing captures me, maybe one.
on another note, thanksgiving came and go. had a good time and was a complete debauchery. played music, ate jurassic amount of food, and hung out with the little PC rounding circle.
back in Asuncion, some errands to run then back to site. I have a feeling december will fly, I hope it's better this year.
on another note, thanksgiving came and go. had a good time and was a complete debauchery. played music, ate jurassic amount of food, and hung out with the little PC rounding circle.
back in Asuncion, some errands to run then back to site. I have a feeling december will fly, I hope it's better this year.
11.19.2010
11.18.2010
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